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click
here for the previous week's New Movies
click
here for 2008 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! JUNE 10 - JUNE 16, 2008
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AUTISM: THE MUSICAL (dir: Tricia Regan, Not Rated) – Follow 5 kids with autism as they rehearse and perform a live musical production with the help of The Miracle Project, a California based theater and film program for kids with special needs. Try not to be charmed, moved and inspired. You will fail. |
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AVIDA (dir: Gustave de Kervern / Benoit
Delepine, Not Rated) – This surreal French comedy represents the best traditions of
"experimental film" by recognizing that people do need to see movies about obese billionaires whose dogs are kidnapped by deaf-mute ketamine addicts. |
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BIG RIG (dir: Doug Pray, Not Rated) – They get to listen to the radio all day long. They are well versed in the art of terrorizing hitch-hikers. And they know how to stay awake for days at a time by drinking a mixture of espresso, gunpowder and bleach. Unless you’re one of those troubling
“localvores,” you have to appreciate the work of long haul truckers. |
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THE BUCKET LIST (dir: Rob
Reiner, PG-13) – It’s like GRUMPY OLD MEN with extra terminal illness! |
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FADE
(dir: Anthony Stagliano, Not Rated) – The Village Voice unfavorably compared this film about Fatal Familial Insomnia, an incredibly rare disease in which your inability to sleep eventually kills you,
to a failed film-school project. But what would a critic know about failed film-school projects? |
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FUNNY GAMES (dir: Michael
Haneke, R) – Austrian director Michael Haneke’s first English language film is a bit of a retread for his fans because this is a shot for shot remake of his own 1997 film. But if you like watching Naomi Watts being terrorized and hate giant gorillas, watch this instead of KING KONG. |
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^THE GRAND (dir: Zak Penn, R) – Woody Harrelson, David Cross and Judy Greer all appear in this improvised comedy in which they play poker players at a high stakes tournament. The gimmick is that it was filmed during an actual high stakes poker tournament. |
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HONEY AND CLOVER (dir: Masahiro Takada, Not Rated) – This whimsical Japanese romance started life, like a lot of things to come from Japan, as a
manga. It follows the relationship entanglements of a bunch of art students over the course of a year. |
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JOHN ADAMS (dir: Tom Hooper, Not Rated) – If you combined THE BUCKET LIST and GRUMPY OLD MEN you might wind up with something like this. Although I don’t know where you’d get all the neat costumes. And this is probably more educational. |
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JUMPER (dir: Doug
Liman, PG-13) –
Kurt says, "Egypt now, Paris later? Jump really, really far!
This movie answers the age old question of if Hayden Christianson
can act... nope! But don't let me spoil this movie for you; it's
bad. The only thing that jumped here was my expectations, and they
reverse jumped... down-style! JUMPED!!!" |
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THE LIST (dir: Gary Wheeler, PG) – I find it very disreputable of Malcolm McDowell to release this straight-to-video thriller on the same day as THE BUCKET LIST in a desperate bid to confuse viewers. And also, this movie is rated PG for “brief, incendental
smoking.” So, unless you want to see people smoking cigarettes, steer clear of this. |
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THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (dir: Justin Chadwick, PG-13) – Do you like pretty people in silly costumes speaking in badly affected accents from a long gone era?!? I don’t! And, to the best of my knowledge, Scarlett Johannson and Natalie Portman don’t make out during this movie, so get your mind out of the gutter. |
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OTIS (dir: Tony
Krantz, Not Rated) – Daniel Stern and Illeana Douglas star as the parents of an abducted teenage girl who, fed up with the incompetence of the authorities, take matters into their own hands in this somewhat witty send up of the horror genre. |
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*OUT OF THE BLUE (dir: Robert
Sarkies, Not Rated) – This gripping docudrama recounts the mass killing in
Aramoana, New Zealand on November 13, 1990 by a disturbed gun collector, and it’s shockingly
good - although the senselessness of the violence is hard to digest. Like Paul Greegrass’ BLOODY SUNDAY, it feels uncomfortably real. |
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ROCK THE PAINT (dir: Phil
Bertelsen, R) – This well-reviewed sports drama follows a teenager from rural Indiana to the mean streets of Newark where he befriends the local basketball phenom and together they make a run at the state title. |
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SIDEKICK (dir: Blake Van de
Graaf, Not Rated) – Don’t get too excited. This is not the long promised DVD debut of the inspirational Chuck Norris KARATE KID rip-off. That is SIDEKICKS and you’ll need to hop on a plane to France to get a copy of it. This is just some no-budget superhero comedy. |
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THE SIGNAL (dir: David Bruckner / Dan Bush / Jacob Gentry, R) – I have no idea what this movie is about but it has one of those shiny aluminum foil covers that catches the light in extraordinary ways. I think it’s a horror movie. |
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STANLEY CUBA (dir: Per Anderson, Not Rated) – This parody of Stanley Kubrick’s life (what did he ever do to anybody?) promises to also be an investigation into parody itself. I find this very troubling. |
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VEXILLE (dir: Fumihiko
Sori, PG-13) – A secret agent is sent to Tokyo in the year 2077 to see if Japan has been illegally developing robots, even though they’ve been banned by the international community due to their threat to mankind. Yeah, they probably have. |
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WIENERS (dir: Mark
Steilen, R) – Three friends drive across country to assassinate a Dr.
Phil-esque television personality after one of them is humiliated on his show. |
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THE WILLOW TREE (dir: Majid
Majidi, Not Rated) – After undergoing treatment in France, a blind Iranian professor returns home but fears things have changed in his absence. This is another small treasure from Majid
Majidi, the director of CHILDREN OF HEAVEN and THE COLOR OF PARADISE. |
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WITLESS PROTECTION
(dir: Charles Robert Carner, PG-13) – Anyone who didn’t bite that cyanide capsule in their cheek during DELTA FARCE or HEALTH INSPECTOR should chomp down now. It’s just not worth going on. |
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= GREG's
pick of the week! ^ =
Bart's pick of the week! |