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NEW MOVIES! MAY 14 - MAY 20, 2013 |
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CLOUD ATLAS (USA, R) -
The directors of THE MATRIX and RUN LOLA RUN team up to make a
bloated historical sci-fi epic based on a best-seller. The gist of
the film is that when you do something really bad, you get five or
six more lives to try to make up for it. Most of the members of the
ethnically diverse cast get to spend at least a portion of the movie
as some other ethnicity, so lovers of makeup artistry and haters of
political correctness should rejoice.
DIRECTED BY: Tom Tykwer / Andy Wachowski / Lana Wachowski
STARRING: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim
Sturgess, Doona Bae
METASCORE: 55, based on
45 Critics |
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TEXAS CHAINSAW (USA, R) -
If you weren't tired of watching people horrifically murdered by a
masked, chainsaw-wielding lunatic in Texas in the first six movies,
here's another one to add to your collection. More thrills, more
gore, and even more terrifyingly inescapable situations make for a
good reason to schedule your therapy session in advance!
DIRECTED BY: John Luessenhop
STARRING: Tania Raymonde, Dan Yeager, Alexandra Daddario, Trey Songz,
Scott Eastwood
METASCORE: 31, based on
17 Critics |
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A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES
SWAN III (USA, R) - I've always said: the longer the title, the
better the movie. I'm pretty sure this wacky comedy starring Charlie
Sheen will prove me right once again. I mean he's lounging on a
couch that looks like a hotdog on the back cover of the DVD. That's
funny guys!!! After being dumped by his girlfriend, Charles
experiences all the confusing emotions that would follow, except his
post-breakup is directed by Roman Coppola and has bizarre dream
sequences involved. It must be his tiger blood.
DIRECTED BY: Roman Coppola
STARRING: Charlie Sheen, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Katheryn
Winnick, Aubrey Plaza, Patricia Arquette
METASCORE: 28, based on
21 Critics |
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BEWARE OF MR. BAKER (USA, Not Rated) -
This one's a documentary about Peter Edward "Ginger" Baker, an
English drummer best known for his work with Cream and Blind Faith
(thank you Wikipedia). He's a lot like Keith Moon, only he's still
alive to interview. It might be said that he's an eccentric bloke.
DIRECTED BY: Jay Bulger
STARRING: Ginger Baker, Eric Clapton, Stewart Copeland
METASCORE: 79, based on
15 Critics |
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#FRANKIE GO BOOM (USA, Not Rated) -
Talk about potential, this movie has it: a hunky main character for
the ladies (Charlie Hunnam), his funny brother that picks on him all
the time (Chris O'Dowd), a sexy one-night stand (Lizzy Caplan) and
last, but most certainly not least, a cross-dressing computer hacker
(Ron Perlman). Frankie's brother video tapes his awful one night
stand and puts in on the world wide web. Come to find out, it was
with his boss's daughter. Lucky for him he's got a tranny hacker for
a good friend who might be able to delete the video before any
damage is done.
DIRECTED BY: Jordan Roberts
STARRING: Charlie Hunnam, Lizzy Caplan, Chris O'Dowd, Ron Perlman,
Chris Noth
METASCORE: 51, based on
9 Critics |
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LIZ & DICK (USA, Not Rated) -
If you're older than forty I probably don't need to tell you this
movie is a bio-pic about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, whose
25 year romance was THE celebrity affair of their day. If you're
younger, consider them the Brangelina of their time. Bart was blown
away by how much Lindsay Lohan at 26 is the spitting image of Liz
Taylor at 40-something. Just goes to show how drugs are bad for your
body and you shouldn't do them. I'm talking to you, kiddos.
DIRECTED BY: Lloyd Kramer
STARRING: Lindsay Lohan, Grant Bowler, Theresa Russell
METASCORE: 26, based on
27 Critics |
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WAGNER & ME (UK, Not Rated) -
TOP GEAR's Stephen Fry apparently is a big music lover, especially
for the work of Richard Wagner. The problem is that Wagner's music
was heavily entrenched in anti-semantic epiphanies and the Fry-man
is Jewish. What's to come of this comical/biographical essay of one
man's willingness to leave his admiration of Wagner untainted by the
revelation of a man whose genius was used to oppress the very
lineage in which he is cut from? The only way Stephen Fry knows how
to handle things - with lots and lots of dry, British humor!
DIRECTED BY: Patrick McGrady
STARRING: Stephen Fry
METASCORE: 56, based on
10 Critics |
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PARKED (Ireland, Not Rated) -
Here's a movie about a man who reminds me of the recently
incarcerated North Pond Hermit. Unlike the Hermit, who spent 27
years in solitude, Fred lives in Ireland in his car. When he
befriends a young stoner, his world becomes a little more bearable.
In addition to making one friend, and despite his precarious living
situation, he also meets a gal. Good on him. Erin go bragh.
DIRECTED BY: Darragh Byrne
STARRING: Colm Meaney, Colin Morgan, Milka Ahlroth
METASCORE: 47, based on
8 Critics |
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LEONIE (Japan, PG-13) -
I speak purely in earnest when I say that I cannot remember the last
film that I've seen that actually encouraged its audience to go to
sleep moreso than LEONIE. This bedtime yarn features Emily Mortimer
as an exhausted single mother trying to figure out if her son is a
problematic weirdo, or just an artist. Once the latter is
established, the malaise assaults you with sleepy-time dialogue,
lazy, non-rhythmic sex scenes and a celebrated, over-sentimentalized
death of a mother cocooned in fatigue by a life she showed very
little interest in. All-in-all I'm thinking Hasako Matsui was a
great match for this over-the-counter sleeping aid.
DIRECTED BY: Hisako Matsui
STARRING: Emily Mortimer, Christina Hendricks, Kazuko Yoshiyuki,
Keiko Takeshita
METASCORE: 40, based on
8 Critics |
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BACK TO 1942 (China, Not Rated) -
Feng Xiaogang must have a fetish of sorts for watching people suffer
en masse. Whether it's an entire city of generous civilians being
ravaged by earthquakes in AFTERSHOCK, or members of the Chinese
militia getting blown to hell in his Titanic-sized, slightly
ham-fisted picture ASSEMBLY, there is no reason this release of the
week wouldn't have a dash of appeal for the disaster-loving movie
hound. More importantly, the film boasts Adrien Brody as a writer
for Time magazine documenting the great drought of Henan, and its
other American star, Tim Robbins, as a Catholic priest determined to
pray the famine away whilst serving as the moral centerpiece of the
film. I dare say, digest the political perspective of this film at
your discretion.
DIRECTED BY: Xiaogang Feng
STARRING: Tim Robbins, Adrien Brody, Daoming Chen
METASCORE: 41, based on
6 Critics |
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^TOMORROW YOU'RE GONE (USA, Not Rated)
- Out of prison but not out of the woods, Charlie meets a girl and
continues to make questionable decisions. Bart says this movie is
better than it looks, so that's gotta be sayin' somethin'. All I can
say is I hope this dingus made more than a pretty penny for his
involvement in the hit-gone-wrong. So now that I talked about the
movie, I have to mention the recent arrest of Tim Lambesis, singer
for the Christian metal band As I Lay Dying, for "allegedly" paying
an undercover cop $1000 to murder his wife. REALLY PEOPLE, REALLY?!
DIRECTED BY: David Jacobson
STARRING: Stephen Dorff, Michelle Monaghan, Willem Dafoe
METASCORE: 19, based on
5 Critics |
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^ = BART'S PICK OF THE WEEK!
# = KENT'S PICK OF THE WEEK! |
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NEW SERIES THIS WEEK! |
NEW (BUT NOT NEW) MOVIES THIS WEEK! |
NEW FAMILY TIME THIS WEEK! |
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