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NEW MOVIES!  MAY 26 - JUNE 1, 2015
SEVENTH SON (USA, PG-13) - If you like Dungeons & Dragons, this one may be for you. When an evil sorceress is released from entrapment via the destruction a blood moon, death is sure to follow. Julianne Moore plays the revenge-minded witch who's after Jeff Bridges, the Spook who locked her away. It's definitely not STILL ALICE, since she forgets nothing of the wrongs she has endured, resulting in lots of medieval fantasy action with dragons, knights, ghosts, and so on.
DIRECTED BY: Sergei Bodrov
STARRING: Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Alicia Vikander, Kit Harington, Olivia Williams, Antje Traue, Djimon Hounsou, Julianne Moore
METASCORE: 30, based on 32 Critics
THE LOFT (USA, R) - Here's a psychological thriller about timeshares and debauchery. These friends all rent this place and get to do whatever their deepest creepiest darkest hearts desire. It's all fun and sexy time until a woman's dead body appears in the living room.
DIRECTED BY: Erik Van Looy
STARRING: Karl Urban, James Marsden, Wentworth Miller, Eric Stonestreet, Matthias Schoenaerts, Rhona Mitra, Rachael Taylor, Isabel Lucas
METASCORE: 24, based on 11 Critics
DA SWEET BLOOD OF JESUS (USA, Not Rated) - This dude finds some kinda ancient artifact and then gets a hunger that only blood will satisfy. He is not a vampire, however. Nope, he's just a blood-drinking nymphomaniac and he gets involved with some lusty African temptress princess lady or something. After failing so badly with his remake of OLDBOY, it's hard to understand why Spike Lee went ahead with this remake of the legendary '70s exploitation movie, GANJA & HESS.
DIRECTED BY: Spike Lee
STARRING: Felicia Pearson, Elvis Nolasco, Zaraah Abrahams, Steven Hauck, Stephen Tyrone Williams
METASCORE: 52, based on 19 Critics
BALLET 422 (USA, PG) - This is a documentary about ballerinas in New York - except it's not just about ballerinas because there are boys in it. So what do we call them? Ballers? Anyway, it takes a lot to choreograph one of these dancey dances. If you're a ballet fan, or are a fan of watching paint dry, you'll love this movie.
DIRECTED BY: Jody Lee Lipes
METASCORE: 74, based on 16 Critics
MAGICIAN: THE ASTONISHING LIFE & WORK OF ORSON WELLES (USA, Not Rated) - This one's about Orson Welles and his life and stuff he did and all that kinda stuff that goes into a man and being him and doing things and everything of that sort of nature. It's, like, really interesting but I'm not really doing it justice 'cos I can't think of the right words to use for the describing parts of what it's about and whatnot.
DIRECTED BY: Chuck Workman
METASCORE: 67, based on 15 Critics
BELOVED SISTERS (Germany, Not Rated) - Two sisters both love the same bad boy. But, like, how bad can he be because they are back in time before bad boys were cool? Well, one of them is married so probably the other one should get the dude, but I'm not sure any of this is the important part of this story of rebellious literary-types and the women who love them.
DIRECTED BY: Dominik Graf
STARRING: Henriette Confurius, Florian Stetter, Hannah Herzsprung
METASCORE: 66, based on 15 Critics
CUT BANK (USA, R) - Katniss's sexy boyfriend stars in this grimy flick. He falls for some get-rich scheme and then gets accused of murder. And that's why you never get involved in one those pay-it-forward schemes when crime is involved.
DIRECTED BY: Matt Shakman
STARRING: Liam Hemsworth, Billy Bob Thornton, John Malkovich, Teresa Palmer, Michael Stuhlbarg
METASCORE: 44, based on 12 Critics
ALL THE WILDERNESS (USA, Not Rated) - A boy is all distraught 'cos his dad is dead. So then he goes off into the wilderness of downtown Portland and is all like, "I'm gonna try and find myself." Once there, he unleashes his inner-wilderness or finds acceptance about the whole not having a dad anymore thing.
DIRECTED BY: Michael Johnson
STARRING: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Isabelle Fuhrman, Danny DeVito, Virginia Madsen, Evan Ross
METASCORE: 54, based on 11 Critics
^MAIDAN (Ukraine, Not Rated) - There is no narration in this documentary about civil uprising. It's got some historical stuff and live-action protest yelling, but mostly you're watching people be people despite the fact that they're in the midst of some heavy-duty, nation-changing stuff.
DIRECTED BY: Sergey Loznitsa
METASCORE: 86, based on 9 Critics
LAST HIJACK (Netherlands, Not Rated) - The cover of this movie deceived me and for a sec I really thought it was about a giant bird kidnapping people. No such luck - it's about Somali pirates and survival, but from the pirates' perspective. It sounds pretty interesting, but with much more desert than dinosaur.
DIRECTED BY: Tommy Pallotta / Femke Wolting
METASCORE: 61, based on 8 Critics
WHITE RABBIT (USA, Not Rated) - This kid is twacked, ever since his alcoholic father forced him to murder an innocent bunny rabbit. That stuff really affects kids. I mean, on the one hand, he just wanted to do what would make his dad proud. But, on the other hand, he hasn't been right since. I'm pretty sure now every time he sees a bunny, he goes into some kinda traumatic psychosis. Parenting: not for everyone.
DIRECTED BY: Tim McCann
STARRING: Nick Krause, Sam Trammell, Britt Robertson
METASCORE: 41, based on 7 Critics
ZOMBEAVERS (USA, R) - There's this cabin on a lake and a couple of chicks in bikinis. They are having fun until they realize there's beavers in the water. Not just any beavers, though. Them's ZOMBEAVERS and they will, "Dam you to hell." If you hate movies with feasible storylines, you should totally check it out.
DIRECTED BY: Jordan Rubin
STARRING: Rachel Melvin, Hutch Dano, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atkins
METASCORE: 44, based on 6 Critics
*MINUSCULE: VALLEY OF THE LOST ANTS (France, Not Rated) - I was just discussing with Bart how there aren't enough bug movies. I mean, until recently, there were just ANTZ, THE BEE MOVIE and A BUG'S LIFE. But now there's this one and MAYA THE BEE MOVIE. In case you're not keeping track like I am, that makes 5 kid-friendly bug movies.
DIRECTED BY: Helene Giraud / Thomas Szabo
NARRATED BY: Richard Dreyfuss
LET US PREY (Ireland, Not Rated) - It's gal cop Rachel's first night on the job. She is surrounded by violent criminal types, like the kind that aren't well-behaved enough to earn Playstations in prison. Stuff begins happening and it's horrifying and bad.
DIRECTED BY: Brian O'Malley
STARRING: Liam Cunningham, Pollyanna McIntosh, Bryan Larkin
GUN WOMAN (Japan, Not Rated) - This girl is sent into a place and made to look dead. When she wakes up, she is the only one in the room not dead. Then she runs around and pulls guns out of her body and makes other not-dead people dead. Whatever the point is, there be guns, assassination, blood, and revenge.
DIRECTED BY: Kurando Mitsutake
STARRING: Asami Sugiura
^ = BART'S PICK OF THE WEEK!          * = KYRA'S PICK OF THE WEEK!
 
NEW SERIES THIS WEEK! NEW (BUT NOT NEW) MOVIES THIS WEEK! NEW FAMILY TIME THIS WEEK!
Glee: Season 6 (2015) Hello Ladies (2013-2014) Major Crimes: Season 3 (2014)
Ray Donovan: Season 2 (2014) South Park: Season 16 (2012)
Cry of the City (1948) The Confession (1970) State of Siege (1972)
The Boxcar Children (2014) Maya the Bee Movie (2014)
  NEW (BUT NOT NEW) DVDs LAST WEEK!